Not my canvas… thought for the day 💭

Today an old woman saw Cub playing and told me:

“She’s beautiful. But she loves that football she’s kicking. Maybe she’ll be a footballer.”

I shrugged and said maybe to be polite. Then she said: “They never turn out how you want them to though.”

I said nothing but it made me think… how do I want her to “turn out”?

Honestly, I just want her to feel empowered and confident to be uncompromisingly HERSELF and know she’s loved infinitely and unconditionally regardless of, because of, no matter her choices.

What job do I want her to have, or interests, or whatever? That’s not my blank to fill, her future is hers to dream and build and create. Her life is a canvas but it’s not my canvas. I’m here to protect her but she’s here to grow and explore and decide for herself, and I’ll encourage her whichever way she goes but she’s the leader. I’m just a safe place for her to come back to whenever she needs it.

I want to not impose my stuff on her, good or bad, but for her to have the opportunity to discover and decide for herself.

I want her to choose work that interests her and not feel she has to prove anything to me or anyone else, or to live up to any kind of expectation, or earn a set amount.

I want her to date whoever she wants, if she wants to date that is, and know there’s never a need to explain or come out or anything – she can bring someone home, without notice, male, female, non binary, cis or trans and the only thing I need to know is what they want for dinner.

So I guess what I sort of wanted to say to the old woman is “no maybe they don’t turn out how we want, because it’s not our place to want. It’s theirs.”

Thankfully at the moment if you ask her if she’s anything (mummy’s girl, daddy’s girl, our baby, cheeky, our sassy daughter) she goes “No. Nope. Nope. No!” And if you ask her what she is, she says her name. So let’s hope she keeps rejecting all externally imposed labels and ideas in favour of being herself, hey? ❤️🙏🏻

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