I’m going to be lazy and link to the Instagram post I did rather than reblog here.
I count myself incredibly lucky that I discovered Lyndsey Hookway and learned about biologically normal infant sleep during pregnancy. Not a bone in my body would’ve been capable of leaving my daughter to cry EVER (and we never have) but I can imagine without understanding what is normal, mainstream sleep training culture would’ve really messed with my head and made me feel so guilty and confused.
Thankfully, now trained in holistic infant sleep because I became fascinated with it, I now get to support other parents with understanding what is normal and making gentle changes to get families more sleep WITHOUT ever sleep training or doing anything to limit responsiveness to children’s needs in any way – just respectful, gentle and supportive tweaks.
So I’m in a pretty privileged position when I get told crap stuff like shut the door on your child and leave them to cry or it’s a rod for your own back – my response will only ever be go fuck yourself to that, and I’m not sorry.
Unsolicited advice on all things parenting is rife but especially in the sleep world.
I just worry for the families and parents who are tired and vulnerable and not confident to say actually you know what, cry it out and controlled crying are not for us and we trust ourselves and our babies enough to follow our instincts.
For help with sleep you can join me at Infant Sleep Clinic on Instagram. Just make sure you ignore ANY advice on sleep that makes you feel uncomfortable or goes against your instinct. There is NOTHING wrong with responding to your baby, EVER. And if some tosser tells you they need to “learn” to sleep, you need to limit eye contact or you HAVE to leave them to cry – know that you don’t have to.
The IG post linked above will take you to lots of gentle sleep and gentle parenting pages where you can find free advice and also just a likeminded community if you’re sick of the sleep training chat 💙
NB: this is not to judge parents making different choices. This is criticising people giving inaccurate unsolicited advice, and professionals in the medical field who don’t do training on infant sleep and give out advice which may potentially be harmful to secure attachment, and parent and baby mental health. ❤️