If you’re anything like me, you have VERY DIFFERENT body goals to your boyfriend! (Anyone with girlfriends, let me know how your health regimes line up… I’m not sure if that makes it easier or harder?! Comment and let me know!)
I’ve been with The Boy for almost 11 years (blimey, I know, it’s a liiiittle insane haha!)
When you’re trying hard to make a healthy lifestyle work, date nights can totally derail you… but equally life is too short to say no to having fun just for the sake of weighing a little less! That would be real madness.
For a long time The Boy and I have eaten separately, partly because for 10 years of our relationship I didn’t eat meat, and also because of our body and health goals (clue: his used to involve a gigantic bowl of pasta with every meal and mine… well, if it had, I’d be a very different shape right now!) and also our schedules work that way.
Now we’ve come up with compromises so here are a few tips I can share that may help.
- MEAL PLAN. Drawing up a quick meal plan at weekends can really help you figure out how to sort the shop for the week, and you can account for differences in your goals, e.g. I might make chicken and greens in tomato sauce with a small serving of brown rice for me, but plan to have LOADS of rice leftover for him, to do with an extra chicken fillet. Or, sometimes if I’ve had my carbs earlier in the day, I’ll have just the protein and veg at dinner, and one of us will make him the same thing but with his own helping of carbs.
2. Introduce your partner to the benefits of some healthy swaps! I never forced it, but FINALLY after years haha, he’s recognised that pulses are really nice and filling, and get you extra protein in a way that tastes like carbs – bonus! And The Boy has finally stopped calling brown pasta ‘arse pasta’ haha! Plus he’s discovered he actually loves sweet potato. And while he doesn’t like coconut oil as an olive oil substitute, he’ll try to cook my stuff in it and do his separately.
3. Do the double-dish date night – but make it either two starters, or a starter and small desert! That way, you can still have amazing treats, guilt free, and still go out to dinner together, but without gorging and feeling bloated and like you’ve blown your health goals in one sitting!
4. Ask for support. Tell your partner what you’re doing so if he’s going to bring stuff home to surprise you, maybe its flowers rather than chocolate or ben & jerrys! And teach him what ‘healthy’ treat alternatives you like (James knows I love nakd bars so instead of chocolate, he’ll get me those, when he’s buying himself sweet popcorn for movie night!)
5. Double team and try to find commonalities between your regimes – for example, James and I do TOTALLY different things at the gym, but we try and schedule at least one, if not two sessions together a week so we can force each other out the door. It keeps us accountable. James even drove me once (10 mins down the road!) to make sure I did my workout!
6. If your other half is male…Remind him that your portion doesn’t need to match his. Different goals, different sexes, different metabolic rates. It’s an easy mistake to make, but generally speaking women don’t need the same amount of food as men (unfortunately!) although bear in mind your physical activity levels will be the key factor here.
7. Work out together! Sadly The Boy won’t run or circuit train with me, but find something you can do together – maybe tennis, squash, boxing, swimming… if you can add a healthy way to spend time together, that’s got to be good all round!
8. Have more sex. Need I say more?! 😉
What are your tips for making sure your relationship doesn’t sabotage your health efforts?!